The books // 95:365

You were a book i read over and over again. Despite the number of times i flipped the pages, i still feel so deeply for this book. I've been stuck on this favourite page of mine, the first page of the last chapter, for years yet all i did was re-reading everything instead of continuing the last chapter. I'm not ready to see how this book is going to end, not ready to close the book.

But i also know that no matter how much I love this book, understanding the content is as important too, which i'm still trying my best to. Everytime i read this book, i get hurt by the content, by paper cuts, and paper cuts are small but are one of the most painful cuts. I'm tired of going through the same thing again and again, tired of being insecure all the time, tired of worrying what's going to happen next. It's time to close the book and seek another one right?

You were a book that seeked other owners when you were supposed to be mine. A book that left me for others, a book that doesn't think i'm enough for you, until recently. 

I found interest in another book by reading its summary, and decided to close this book for that book. I have yet to know the content of the other book, and of course, i wouldn't know if the other book is a good book just by its summary because "don't judge its book by its cover". Opening that book requires lots of courage and sacrifices. I'll have to take a big step, not knowing what the future holds. I do not know if i'd love the other book. However. by choosing one, i'll have to forgo the other one.

Just as i was ready to close this book that i've been stucked for years, pages from the last chapter got flipped unintentionally, The ending seems like it's something i wished for, for years. So do i continue reading the book or close it? There's a chance whereby the ending will hurt me alot if i were to choose to trust it again, 

What should i do?

I guess time is all i really need, time will tell me i hope. 

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