#believe ♡

i need to stop. but the fear of losing you is real. I can't seem to stop thinking.it's sad how our conversation shrunk as days passed. just weeks back, when our conversation became lesser, you'd say how sad it is because we talked so little that day, but now it's just a normal thing. I remember the first time i lost you, it was like this too. Our conversation grew lesser and lesser, and one day it just stopped. so tell me how, how do i stop overthinking. it's hard, but i'll try, even if it kills inside.

i chance upon this post on ThoughtCatalogue, "How Everyone Wants To Be Loved", and my favourite part of the post would be this: " Of course, they always leave us anyway. In some ways, you know that it’s a countdown until they leave from the very beginning. They might say “I love you,” and the more easily pleased part of you will believe them, but there’s always a minor emptiness that you convince yourself to ignore. And when they leave, the pain is always magnified by the absence of surprise." i know i'm insecure as fk, i'm pretty sure most of the girls out there are as well. I need assurance every single time, despite the number of "i love you" have been said. the feeling of losing someone you don't ever want to lose, sucks so badly, not to mention if you once lost him/her before. putting such thoughts aside, it's 3am in the morning, and i've got Macroeconomics MSA tmr. Trying so hard to concentrate and study but meh, i just w...

you know you love someone when your face lit up whenever his/her name gets mentioned you know you love someone when what he/she do matters despite its minority you know you love someone when you are willing to travel so far just to have a look at his/her face you know you love someone when his/her mood affects yours drastically  you know you love someone when you don't mind him/her despite knowing how bad he/she can be you know you love someone when you enjoy every moment with him/her even if you guys are just sitting down doing your own respective things you know you love someone when you crave for his/her presence every single minute, hour and day you know you love someone when you think of memories of him/her out of the blue you know you love someone when you constantly wait for his/her name to appear on your phone you know you love someone when you get disappointed if the text/call isn't from him/her, but smiles like an idiot if the tex...

i'm finally back on this space of mine!! i realized it's been such a long time since i've updated my blog so yeap, i conquered my laziness and decided to update it (finally?!). this post is supposed to be up on 26 but i'm andro, i'm forever late, what's new as many of us know, my legal birthday have passed, and thanks to my bunch of friends, i managed to celebrated it perfectly. 2 days before my birthday, 17th of nov (happy birthday alysia), joanne, jolene and her clique surprised me at their house with the "never-ending" candle and a cake they bought. it wasn't a big celebration but i was really grateful and glad as they came all the way down just to surprise me. on my actual birthday, jionghao & jordan aka bear & panda, treated me loklook(!!!) and they themselve ate it together with me (for the 1st time??) silly jordan, he can't take the spiciness so yeap, he ended up tearing after eating a few mouths HAHAHA. kaipin and hazel bo...

I happened to read about something that really struck me hard. And I believe this applies to everyone as well. Every single one of us take things for granted, knowingly or unknowingly, we will only realized it when it's gone. you never know what you have until you lose it. you always know what you have, you just never think you'd lose it. There are things we failed to realize how important something or someone is, until they are gone from our lives. Though I'm sure all of us have cherished something only after it's gone before, but people like me, never learn. "Appreciate what you have before it becomes what you had" till then x

I see you with her and it crushes me inside Guess I should stop thinking about you all the time Maybe this is what I needed maybe this is a sign Maybe I've been blind to reality baby tell me Every little glance my way Every time you wanted to hang You seemed so interested Could you tell me was it real or was it all in my head Was it real or was it all in my head She's so pretty you two look so great Time for me to move on now it was probably just a silly crush anyway But I just cant help but think that we, we could've had something Have I really been blind to reality baby tell me Every little glance my way Every time you wanted to hang You seemed so interested Could you tell me was it real or was it all in my head Was it real or was it all in my head Was it real or was it fake? Was it all a mistake? Boy, I just gotta know was it all in my head, all in my head? Did you ever feel the same? Was my mind just playing games? Boy, I just gotta know was it all in my head, all in my...

假如把犯得起的错 能错的都错过，应该还来得及去悔过 假如没把一切说破 那一场小风波，将一笑带过 在感情面前，讲什么自我 要得过且过，才好过 全都怪我 不该沉默时沉默，该勇敢时软弱 如果不是我 误会自己洒脱 让我们难过 可当初的你，和现在的我，假如重来过 倘若那天 把该说的话好好说，该体谅的不执著 如果那天我 不受情绪挑拨 你会怎么做 那么多如果，可能如果我 可惜没如果，只剩下结果 如果早点了解 那率性的你 或者晚一点 遇上成熟的我 不过 喔 全都怪我 不该沉默时沉默，该勇敢时软弱 如果不是我 不会自己洒脱 让我们难过 可当初的你，和现在的我，假如重来过 倘若那天 把该说的话好好说，该体谅的不执著 如果那天我 不受情绪挑拨 你会怎么做 那么多如果，可能如果我 可惜没 如果，没有你和我 都怪我 不该沉默时沉默，该勇敢时软弱 如果不是我 不会自己洒脱 让我们难过 可当初的你，和现在的我，假如重来过 倘若那天 把该说的话好好说，该体谅的不执著 如果那天我 不受情绪挑拨 你会怎么做 那么多如果，可能如果我 可惜没如果，只剩下结果 可惜没如果

it felt like history is repeating itself on me twice. After so long, I just realized I've yet to move on, again, after going through all these for 2 years plus, thinking I wouldn't have to go through it again. All the mini stories ended abruptly, all partially because of me. Even how things became and how things are happening, it's exactly the same, but different people. I thought I'd be able to face it without the need to cry silently, but I just can't. Trying so hard but it is just so hard to control. how can one who love so much, let go and move on so fast. won't one think of coming back after leaving without a word? i've got no idea how and what am i supposed to do now, i really don't

Whatever you're searching for You won't find it here But I'll admit something keeps pulling me back into your atmosphere I'm really good at mistakes All the marks I left on the page They seem to never wanna disappear Why do you still come around? When all I do is push, push, push you away I really really wanna take a chance on you but I I hesitate I'm afraid to start Don't wanna break your heart Just finished picking up the pieces from this mess I never meant to hurt nobody But now I tend to move slowly Cause if I ever slip from your fingertips My name would be stained on your lips Feels like everybody's watching To see what my next move is Do I proceed with caution or do I just dive in? But I'm fine with taking it slow Enjoy life on my own But I can be confusing sometimes, I know I'm surprised you're still around Baby all I do is push, push, push you away I really really wanna take a chance on you but I I need to make sure this isn't just a...

It's been quite some time since I've last updated!! I've been really busy with school and stuffs. i wanted to update my blog on the first week of school but it's really tiring and as usual, I procrastinated hahahaha so congratulations to me and everyone else who started poly, we survived 3 weeks of school alrdy!! Thanks to W45Baes and Joanne of course, that made the 3 weeks of RP life really good. RP life is really tiring, presentations every single day, quiz every single day, RJ every single day. Thumb ups for those who managed to get through 3 years of RP, 3 years of RJ and quiz!!! it's barely a month and i'm already this exhausted. But on the bright side, it's a blessing to know everyone i met in rp, plus I got selected to be in the netball team too. It's kind of good yet bad because days without netball, i'm ending school around 330-345pm, and now, with netball, i'm ending school around 9-930pm. much late much wow hahahaha Thankful for Joan...