"What's meant to be, it'll be"

I miss you, N. I regretted being shy to take photos with you when i can, and now i can't anymore. I regretted pushing you away whenever you hug me, cos now i want to so badly, but i can't. I regret not cherishing you every single time, and i've got to lose you twice to know that you mean the world to me. But it's too late. You are fine without me. I was once your burden and you should be glad that now i'm no longer your burden. You're so much happier without me. You used to send me long goodnight texts every single night, ending off with "Love you, always" I miss them. We used to Skype every single night and you will scold your bros just for me, and you will rather spend time with me then them. I miss that. We used to have banmian for our lunch every single day after school, and then you sending me back home and go all the way back to tiong again. I love them. You will always want to meet me after school every single day, wait outside my class for me after my common test, no matter how late i end. Anything just for me. I want them back. In a blink of an eye, 7 months have passed. I'm still here hoping you'll come back to me. I've tried letting you go, and now still trying but i know myself, no matter what, you're still the best guy I've ever met and best thing that ever happened to me. I really thought we will last. I miss you, i miss us, i miss everything. I'm just so so confused. I'm trying my very best to forget you and move on, but it's hard. Cos i really love you. Sometimes, i wonder "why did you move on so fast? Exactly 1 month and you're tgt with Agnes. Did i really matter to you? And even if i did matter to you, i guess it's only that lil till you can just forget me in a week time and carry on with someone new. And why. Why must you do that to me. I asked myself. Why did i even let you play with my feelings. You're with someone else now, and you guys quarreled, so you came back to me, playing with my fucking feelings. You gave me hopes and then crash it so high.I really thought we might have a chance again. And those 3 days, it was the best thing that ever happened to me this year. How stupid i was.. Annie and Nigelius was like "ANDRO, YOU'RE THE SILLIEST GIRL I'VE EVER KNOWN. WHY DID YOU LET HIM PLAY WITH YOUR FEELINGS" fuck, just by thinking about all these hopes, it's hard, hard to control myself, hard to move on, hard to let go. Crying to sleep every night whenever i think of you. Is it worth? Nope, but i just did. I believe you'll come back. Love you x

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