#believe ♡

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“承诺应该是一份礼物，而不是拴住彼此的枷锁” Promises/commitments should be a gift, and not being tied to each other's chain. Usually when we make a promise, we ought to deliver what the promise says. However, is the promise given willingly or does it just adds on to the burden you already have, and you're just keeping the promises you've made because you promised? I realised we take things for granted; promises, commitments, people, things around us. We promise whenever we can. we commit whenever we can, we love people and the things around us whenever we can, but once we lose them, we regret & we get hurt. I feel that promises are supposed to be given willingly, confidently, and not making a promise we are unsure of, that makes us being forced to keep the promise, and hence tying one another up. There's a big difference in trying to keep the promise, for the sake of the promise and keeping the promise because you want to keep it. Same goes for commitments as well as everyt...

Efforts. What do efforts mean to everyone? To me, efforts means everything. When you want or need something, you have to put in effort to get them, be it having to put in alot of effort or not. After getting them, you have to continue putting in effort to take care of them, and constantly ensure they are good etc. Is getting them all you wanted? Perhaps it's just me. I'd rather someone puts in the exact same effort they once did for me/something all the way, instead of putting in their 100% effort just to get you/something and reduce their effort to e.g 50% once they got it. If you think you can only give out 50% of your effort everytime, then give your 50% from the start, and not decrease them overtime. Don't blame it on the expectations someone has on your efforts because, expectations were built from efforts. However, i do agree that efforts doesn't get you everything you wanted. Sometimes, your efforts don't mean anything when it doesn't require eff...

You were a book i read over and over again. Despite the number of times i flipped the pages, i still feel so deeply for this book. I've been stuck on this favourite page of mine, the first page of the last chapter, for years yet all i did was re-reading everything instead of continuing the last chapter. I'm not ready to see how this book is going to end, not ready to close the book. But i also know that no matter how much I love this book, understanding the content is as important too, which i'm still trying my best to. Everytime i read this book, i get hurt by the content, by paper cuts, and paper cuts are small but are one of the most painful cuts. I'm tired of going through the same thing again and again, tired of being insecure all the time, tired of worrying what's going to happen next. It's time to close the book and seek another one right? You were a book that seeked other owners when you were supposed to be mine. A book that left me for others, a...

When are you ever ready for something? I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one going through phases whereby "I'm not ready for this" moments occured. and i always wonder how do people know they are ready for something, when is the "ready" ready. if not now then when? Sometimes you're ready for something new but you just can't bear to let go of the old, because you are not "ready" to let it go. So... when will the time come? I'm never ready for anything. I do not know when i'm ready for something, both the good and bad. To  me, no one can ever be ready for something . You might expect a certain thing, and be ready to face it, but it doesn't guarantee that what you expected is what you received. I really am amazed by people who are always ready for anything and everything. They do things without fear and accept things the way it is, positively. Yet, here i am, always wondering when i'm ready. Are you?

Many of us neglected the importance of self-love and self-acceptance. We love others more than we love ourselves, we expect others to love us when we do not even love ourselves, we get depress because of ourselves, but how many of us out there, put ourselves before others when it comes to love? Some say love is selfish, some say love is selfless, so... which? Self-acceptance and self-love isn't easy, it is so difficult for us to do that to the extent that we gave up trying, or didn't bother trying. I hate so many things about myself. "Hate" is a really strong word for me, i tend to use "dislike" instead but i'm going to use the word "hate" because that's how much i am unhappy about myself. My face features, my boobs, my stomach, the scars and stretchmarks on my legs, my height, my voice, my laughter, everything. Whenever i look into the mirror, i wish i'm prettier, i wish i wasn't me. There's always someone better...

What defines Christianity? I often wonder. Does believing in God makes me a Christian? Or does attending churches make me a Christian? I've got no idea. I've stopped going to church, as i couldn't commit attending them every week due to school and work (because i just started school and had lots of events and work during that period of time). I can't really remember when, but in one of the church sessions, the pastor was talking about how attending the church doesn't make one a real Christian. So... how do one becomes a real Christian? I believe in God, I believe in His existence, I believe He's there for me. I love and enjoy all the praise and worship songs, as well as reading the bible but I don't attend churches, and that alone, i do not define myself as a Christian. What makes someone a Christian, a real Christian?